G’bye 2020

 Welp, 

It’s 2021.  2020 quarantine/ coronavirus/ Covid-19/ the “dumpster fire of a year” has finished but still lingers as we wait for our turns to take the vaccine, as they are in short supply.  My mom and dad are here with me in Cali to help me because my wife and I bought a house and why not have their help as renovating a house is something that is difficult and time-consuming.  I actually flew to Chicagoland and drove them here so they didn’t have to travel and risk infection.  Wow do I fucking hate our (now past) President, Donny Trump.  I very much believe he could’ve acted sooner to quarantine the people, stop the spread of the virus, shut down businesses during quarantine, influence all the states to do the same, but he is who he is and yeah..  I mean even the New England Journal of Medicine, as my sis pointed out, came out and said they do not endorse Trump for the 2nd term.  When...  lol...   when you think that’s gonna happen again.  That the NEJM calls out a person in power- To friggin warn the masses that “hey!!  Stop thinking this is just a curable flu virus and take the millions of deaths seriously!!”

Anyways, yeah.  That’s what happened this last year.  Fuck I hate cussing but 2020 we all get a pass.  And I honestly hate that I had to fill you in and this is my hello after a while.

Yup..  starting another blog post just cuz this is not how I wanted to say hello.

Wah wah wah WHAAAAHHHH

Hi

I’m back

Read some of these old posts from 7-8 years ago

Wow

Can’t believe it’s been so long 

Lol...  I guess I started but didn’t finish this post lmao 😂 

tv eating my brain

after much reluctance, I finally decided to pick up where I left off with the show, Weeds.

I still think I really don't like how much of the writing is just so very cynical and much like the overall sarcastic language of the movie, Juno, just filled with the kind of one-liners that I'd punch someone in the face for if they actually said it to me in real life.  No not because I'd be offended by the meaning, but I would just wanna punch them in the face for having this (and lemme try and embody everything in this phase)  "pretentious-sardonic-droll wannabe-slacker" persona.  And right now I feel like the mentioning of the word "slacker" might confuse someone here.  I know that you might think a slacker is easy to spot by procrastination and typical signs of laziness.  No.  This "pretentious-sardonic-droll wannabe-slacker" is mainly lazy because of the language they choose to use.  While there is effort in coming up with a sarcastic line, there is lack of effort in humanizing what they say.

"looks like your eggo is prego"

that line right there made me despise the movie, Juno.  There is just so much dismissal going on in that one simple line.  A simple line like, "uh oh, you're pregnant" just has so much more sympathy, empathy and truth in it.  But instead let's dismiss all that, let's dismiss what you might be feeling, let's disimss my feelings towards you, let's dismiss a whole conversation we can have about this issue, let's dismiss we are both human beings and hopefully you'll remember I was the one able to deliver that semi-funny sarcastic one liner to you.

To conclude, I am actually damn hooked on that show Weeds, even though there is lots of cynicism in the language, unfortunately.  There are some characters that actually speak like humans.  I dunno... we shall see how much more I am willing to bare just to make it through.

dreaming

last night i dreamt

i was in a restaurant and then all of a sudden i felt something touch my head
i looked and some guy was wearing a hat that looked like my hounds tooth hat that i own, but i realized i already had a hat on
then later he came up to me and said, dude you didn't even notice this is your hat.. i realized i must have double hatted, but then on further inspection i realized it wasn't really my hat anyways and i told him to toss it or keep it, i didn't need it
walking from the restaurant i am now with my family and we are about to pack into our car
it's an old toyota Camry?  maybe?  but the one i remember my father had for a short while, when i was in my teens
it's look is dilapidated and as if it's been in a fender bender, a huge dent on the side door
before getting us all in this egg beater we realize the tire has blown and we need to fix this flat
my father pops the front hood and starts using this different jack, something I've never seen before
this jack attached to the side of the front hood and then somehow connects to this part that is grounded and somehow jacks the car up in a sturdier fashion than most other jacks would... it's kind of hard to explain


in retrospecticus, the hat thing:   sometimes when I'm trying to carry things in my arms and i have to transport my multiple hats from here to there, i'll double hat, just for transferring purposes
but now I'm juggling 2 jobs and other things in my life
also with my new job/taking care of business,  i am changing hats, kind of seeing what type of man i want to be/ might become
quickly with that issue i think of what type of man my father is ..
i had him fresh in my mind last night because i was talking about him with Christina
and how crafty and knowledgeable he is
he is not only an engineer, but a mechanic, a plumber, a contractor ... he can make almost anything work
instead of looking at this car as my father "the hoarder" i looked at it as my father "the guy who can fix anything"  . . . .and just the fact that he was using this tool that I didn't even think existed, says he probably has so much more for me to learn from him..  not only how to fix a car, but how to be a good father, how to take care of your family, how to be a good and decent man

i really wish i can catch more of my dreams and remember them like this

the news

"it's the news"

"huh?"

"nothing, please continue"

"i mean, I dunno, our last date was kind of just... I dunno... I don't think we have like a chemistry sort of..? . . ..  wait, now I'm bothered, what did you mean by 'it's the news' I totally heard you explicitly, and I . . .   "

"nothin' it's. ..  back before internet TV and stuff, when we had "prime time television".. back in those days first of all "Prime Time" was kind of ...  kind of something to look forward to.  I mean now with DVRs screwing with TVs natural sleeping cycle.. (clears throat) ..    sorry I digress. . .  anyways, the news..    whenever Kevin Arnold found resolution in some Middle School drama all while dealing with his love for Winnie, whenever Cliff Huxtable finally taught his kids a lesson while doing it with style and keeping the Mrs. happy, when Balki and Larry were finished with their shenanigans all while taking on Chicago and their single life.... right as you learn from them exactly how you might have to ask a girl to the school dance, celebrate your wife's 40th birthday or ask your boss, Mr. Gorpley, for a raise so you can buy your girl a ring... ..  the commercial for the upcoming news at 9 comes on and you get ready to say goodbye to Balky and all your other TV friends.  You know, I agree... our last date was kind of shitty.  It sucked because the whole time i kept thinking 'when is she gonna realize she's way out of my league?' and the thing is you are!  In the pecking order I'm not an Alpha but I'm also not even a geeky nerd... I've always been able to fly under the radar and be at least the penultimate ..  you're a .. beautiful and totally endearing chick . .  just ... you know that Kevin never ended up with Winnie. . and you know Paul didn't either .. .  I'm not Kevin or Paul . . . I'm just that horrible 3rd date to you
  . . .

that's the news"

chapters

new chapters in life beginning

starting interviews on this documentary "makings of a queen"... very first interview was today. . it went well

tomorrow/ today in the morning in 8 hours is orientation for new bartending position at B dubs!

and taking a break in the dating arena.. well maybe i guess.. dating a cool chick who is quirky which i like.. but super cool ..  but just gonna see where this goes and not play the field so hard as i've been going .. so..

all three aspects of life that are important are all accounted for

FUCK YOU ANXIETY!!!

had to repost this... i know this was in halloween, but regardless