had to repost this... i know this was in halloween, but regardless

r. i. p. Don

A man that was a regular at my bar always brought a smile to my face when I saw him.  My favorite memory was this one summer when he came in.  It was a really hot, scorching Friday and he came in.  First off, it was rare that he came in during the day.  Second, he asked for a cold bottle of Miller Lite; that wasn't his usual Brandy and Diet Coke!!  Then he said he was going to sit outside.  Me and some friends imagined he was just going to "people watch" out on this hot day with his cold beer and sweat catching handkerchief in hand.  For me, Don, represents the old man that I can only wish to be: one that is easy going, brings smiles to people's faces and a guy that can still take time to enjoy the simple things in life.  I really wish I could've had at least one more drink with him.  Maybe had a deeper conversation than whether he likes D'Antoni as the Laker's new head coach or if maybe his Dodgers can make the playoffs.  He'll be missed.

He got hit by a car or truck that Vari (who saw the whole thing) says was going pretty fast.  Vari was watching him cross the street and Don was still on the crosswalk when the light turned green and this speeding vehicle didn't see him.  Don was almost at the sidewalk too.  He was coherent, but I guess he died in the hospital yesterday or early this morning.

deity inspiration

just watched Life of Pi

it was an amazing visual ride

I loved every wonderful, beautiful, visual melange that they gave us.. so awe-inspiring

the "belief in God" thing.. it took me a while to digest.. but this is what i take from it

you can't really wait around asking God for a sign.. waiting for God to do something for you

He does watch over us

what I understand of faith is that you cannot mix it up with fate

there are some who may say they put their life in God's hands, but I think we still have to try and control our own fate while we still have faith that we are being watched over... i dunno... lemme continue this discussion later.. .   still digesting

my heroes are getting old

the almighty Pac man lost..

i'm trying to come to terms with this quickly so i can enjoy what's left of the weekend

well you gotta get hit by reality every once in a while

gotta have the bitter to notice the sweet

it's also the nature of boxing... if you're losing in points it doesn't matter because you can win with just one punch

we have to "protect ourselves at all times"

we have to not get overindulgent or cocky

we have to get knocked on our ass sometimes and feel the agony of defeat

and then we have to get up because "failure is arbitrary".. . what is the legacy you leave?  what are the values you have instilled?  what are your stories you've given us?

documentary film idea

o m g

so many ideas for this film/ film's direction/ interview/ plots

this documentary is named DRAG...

more info to come

i'm so excited to be on a new idea for a film again

haza!

DRAG... don't wanna spill all the beans yet.. just gonna let it brew in my mind for now

news bloopers

i can't explain it.. but my newest addiction in the last few months have been news bloopers

if there is a news blooper on youtube, chances are: I have already seen it

I have no clue what brought this addiction on seriously

being able to improv your way out of a disaster??

the theatre of live entertainment and "train wrecks.. live" ??

i really don't know why bloopers ... particularly on the news of all things... i dunno

throw me a bone here... must examine later on

just saw ruby sparks

so in this movie Ruby Sparks.. wow btw today i muscled through 1/2 of season 1 of Community... really really attracted to the short bubbly brunette

ok here' my short review of the film..  I feel it was a great great intriguing and compelling premise.  At times, I felt the author/ screenwriter took some of these thoughts out of my own head at times.  But... I think at the end it kind of loses its bearings.  I'm fine with the unanswered questions that some movies will sloppily leave you at the end, but what I found sloppy in its execution was the denouement.  HA.. for the first time I used denouement in this blog... and o my goodness I realize I misspelled my damn play on words.. how embarrassing!!  Fuck a Duck!

original point about the movie.. there was this moment or thought the author has about melding the dreamworld/imagination with reality/real world...  That was basically my most favorite theme of the movie.. It's kind of the premise of Buwan.. and I really feel it's something I want to have as a theme in many of my future films.  And it was also one of the many thoughts in the film that I think this screenwriter chick actually stole out of my brain, damn her.  Is she going out with that scrawny Paul Dano really??  Fuck Ducks... multiple Ducks!

Spring Cleaning

Well, somehow I can't rid myself of some of this clutter..... I want to be able to one day take on the Buddhist way of thinking and just not have any belongings and/or not have any belongings have a control over me.

here is my rankings of stuff I would grab if there was a fire

1. Computer
2. X Box
3. LG LCD flat screen TV
4. my jerseys
5. diplomas
6. the awesome pic of my parents on that sand bar
7. tattoo fund coin jar
8. hat collection
9. expensive ass cameras I've accrued (i really should think about selling one to help debt)
10. some .. favorite shirts??

honestly I really believe this computer.. with some of my writings and ideas and video editing possibilities is the most important thing on this list... I'm thinking once I own my own editing/ sound studio I'll not need this computer anymore...   hmmm is that anti- what I was going for

something... i dunno

trying trying trying to remember what in the world i had said in my head earlier in the day that i wanted to blog about

let's just write and keep writing what about that?

the reason I love the way Luc Besson does action is because of how romantic his action is.  There is something about the way Leon is visually shot, the way he pops out of nowhere to surprise the unsuspecting and quickly and so precisely knocks out or incapacitates his victims.

one day my dream would be to use, as Spike Lee does, a really awesome score for my film

earlier today an older cranky gentleman was being all pissy that i didn't give him his check right away and earlier was a little pissy that we didn't have hash browns, but instead fried potatoes ...

i saw him at a bar later and another bar later... i wanted to tell him.. if we were to have any sort of a conversation, that i don't really care what he thought of my services to him, it didn't affect my day at all, in fact it made me mildly think of the rare pretentious snobby pricks that Belmont Shore area restaurants might get every once in a while... but in conclusion, I, was and am having a wonderful day and that I feel, once again sorry for reusing this term but, mildly sad that you (this old fart) are having a crappy day... which is only  obvious since you feel it necessary to complain about things that are so minor in LIFE

......nope.. can't remember what i wanted to say... getting sleepy.. gnight

back to saying's / mottos

there is no love without drama

once I say you can be a bartender, that's when your barback training is done

never drink without toasting,... only drink in celebration of something, of life, of friendship, of love...  otherwise you must be drinking alone, otherwise your reason for drinking is something that may seem trivial,,,,,,,,,    still a work in progress

in between nuance and cliche

so after watching many of Chris Nolan's and David Simon's work, I've noticed they definitely make or write these amazing sayings or values, if you will.  ex: follow the drugs-all you find is drug dealers, why do we fall, master Bruce?, you either die a hero..., etc.  I absolutely love that within these great movies, they instill some of these wonderful little catch phrases that then show up again at key points in the story.

So, among many other uses for this blog, I am going to use it as storage for my own little sayings whenever I can think of them.

and.. . wow.. .  writer's block allofasudden!

he who dies with the least toys, probably had the most imagination . . .(needs to be refined)

failure is arbitrary: a man who fails out of law school to become a Father.. is not a failure

once you light that cigarette, it don't need you anymore, it can consume itself

9/16/2012

there is no such thing as love without drama

will add more

movie editing

kinda weird...  I am expecting my movie, that I just funded/filmed/acted in/produced/wrote/directed, to be edited by some nice peeps,.. and I can't help but be super criticizing of the last few cuts.. maybe because I'm just being hard on myself.  One thing I believe that will always be true for me is:  when I/you have a vision, and it is given to other people to be handled, your vision just keeps getting more and more filtered and most of the time looks unrecognizable.  I just shot something as a very 15 second small side project that took 30 minutes: of shooting on my iPhone and editing on my computer with Windows Movie Maker...

It took me 30 minutes and I enjoyed watching and re-watching it 10 times more than watching the recent cuts of my film that I spent 2000 dollars on.  Of course the film is totally undeserving of this comparison, but it's just screwed up!!  I think I shall buy an editing program now to help next time with the process... I actually like editing ... I enjoyed it before when I used to make video projects for nursing school, and I enjoyed it today.

For those of you that don't know.. I was in nursing school 2 different times.  I believe I am pretty intelligent, honestly, but when it came right down to it.. I failed at nursing/NCLEX type questions.   "choice A is 20percent right, B is 5percent right, C is 90percent right and D is 100percent right"..  that shit killed me.  But also... my heart wasn't in it.  When it came to projects in nursing school, it always had to be a video project and it was always written and directed and edited by me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxRB-2sLy2w&feature=plcp

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpUzSbM4klg&feature=plcp


anywhooo... I'm ready already Hollywood!!!

this is a very old post... i decided to consolidate my journal here

Posted on 08/06/09 03:12 AM | Last edited on 08/06/09 03:14 AM

I find myself, angrily, at a loss. The reason being this: that this whole rotten tomatoe venue cannot be shared by most of my facebook/myspace/real-life friends. That last one "real-life" isn't actually an internet friending network. I really wish I could share my lists, reviews, blogs with all my friends. Unfortunately I don't believe most of my friends are really movie buff enough to even be interested in joining this network.

Movies are my life; not in the sense that I work in films day in and day out (not that I wouldn't invite that; in fact I would love that), but in the sense that "movies" are what keep me going. If you want me to talk about something where I can be fully engaged and show strong feelings then just strike up a conversation about film. This is complicated, though. This definitely doesn't mean that if you merely mention film that I become a chatterbox. The thing is, I don't easily divulge most of my thoughts on a film, because most of the time I am left with distaste. Distaste: when I hear someone's opinion of a movie that is sophmoric or ignorant. Distaste: when I see that another person's love for film is not as true as mine. Distaste: when people haven't seen a movie that I feel is "life-changing." This is why I mostly steady myself before walking into any discussion relating to film. I have seen thousands of films and want to ultimately see all the films in the world I can. In turn, this has made me form certain tastes and standards in film. Hopefully, I hope you don't perceive me to be a snob. The fact is, I enjoy a porterhouse steak (medium rare) with nice dark micro brew; but I also can enjoy some double cheeseburgers/McChickens after a night of drinking a half a keg of Icehouse. My point is that both can bring me to satiety as two very different films can as well.

Ok, I'm an actor. As an actor, I hear that I should be more outgoing and a "people person." Of course this is true for the business side of acting. Actors, at times, do have to pimp themselves out and be comfortable around large groups of people because if an actor ever does become a celebrity, we want that actor to be an attractive, confident, approachable person. I mean, what kind of celebrity has no confidence and doesn't know how to handle interviews. The thing is, where is there room for the talent? I believe that an actor should be a film buff first. In a strict business sense, how do you know what you're getting into (with a film) when you have no idea what the screenwriter has already done or what the director has done beforehand. On the other hand, why not know or see a lot of films since you (as an actor) are planning to be in them for the rest of your life. For me, I gain inspiration and knowledge whenever I watch a movie. I am exposed to a different take, a different style, a different eye, a different ear. In fact I believe an actor should try to not only watch more films but learn as much about film as possible. But the opposite is true of most aspiring actors. I believe the majority of actors are lazy, and this is begining to stray from my original thought so let me wrap it up. Actors, I think, are wrapped up in a fantasy land of celebrity glamour and dirt and believe that their whole career depends on luck. I don't think this is fully true. There are, yes, actors that have been struck by luck, but I still think that if actors would know more about films then they would help their own cause.

Back to this: film... and my love for it. I can't help but feel that I'm stealing from a Doogie Howser episode when I continue this thought: I remember movies acting as a buffer. Whenever my parents had a fight or there was drama, I can remember all of that dissipating when it was movie time. In a certain Doogie Howser episode, Doogie's best friend pretty much says the same thing when he proclames his reason for becoming a film maker. But this still remains true. Whenever I want to bond with my family, usually it happens with watching a movie. In general, I believe movies are great tools of diffusion from everyday life, why not? After a depressing week of work and many arguments of money, why not an inspirational drama with a sure-bet hollywood ending? You deserve it. Or after a day of looking at a computer and sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours, why not a jam-packed action thriller? And so on..

I go to films for inspiration, education, entertainment and mainly... mainly to feed my soul with art. I think of myself as an artist and there are many ideas that I have yet to portray in film. Film is my art, and I love filling the paint palette (this being my brain) with as many colors and ideas as possible.

sick sea sonnet form

familiar was the journey at the start
familiar was the destination
familiar filled and felt my joyous heart
I, awaiting the tide's gestation
but you, familiar lighthouse, I'm to lose
curse your unfaithful, smiling beam of light
this smell of earth, unburden from my nose
adrift i'll set forth for my chosen plight
familiar upsets my rash soul, my sea
and fills my sails to steer t'wards the abyss
that's where familiar ends, it's where i'll be
my home. i'll cast my seeking anchor thus
familiar's now my foggy freezing sea
familiar can now you no longer be

written  by me

Michael Rausa